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Changing the Farm Wife narrative, My Advice

"No one gets it. I feel so alone."

As a farm wife, have you ever felt your lifestyle was so un-relatable to all of your other friends, co-workers, or even family?

No one gets it. It's hard to even explain what 'it' is.

We have to leave early, or arrive late to (fill in the blank) because we have feeding to do.

In their eye's, how hard is it to give animals some feed? I mean really? It's super easy to just dump some feed out, right?

Not as simple as you think. There is way more to feeding than just dumping feed buckets or driving down a lane to dump in the troughs. There is counting, observing for signs of anything out of the norm. It's checking fences to just verify what was good yesterday, is still good today. It's checking the creeks and the ponds to make sure their water supply is accessible and plentiful. It's checking the mud and muck to make sure none are stuck. It's weighing the feed to make sure they are getting the right amounts. It's checking mineral barrels or troughs to make sure they have enough of that too. And the additional things just keep adding up.

Livestock comes with so much more than just throwing out some feed, and we won't even touch on planting season or harvest. That is a whole other ballgame in itself.

Trying to explain that, plus way more to outsiders is just hard to do. They don't get it.

Let's talk about plans. What plans?

You can't make plans because 1) the farm, or 2) you have to go alone so it's just easier to say, no, we are busy. Right?

We don't make plans. Plans lead to excitement, and excitement is followed by let down, disappointment. Almost always.

As a farm wife, you are there for support. You are there to help wherever you are needed. Sometimes it just an ear to vent. A heart to understand what they are going through on the daily. Sometimes it's getting home from your day job, kicking your heels off, and trading them in for muck boots so you can lend a hand to.....fill in the blank. Sometimes it's running field meals out so they can eat. Sometimes it's field meals together on the back of the truck, in the combine, or back of your car. You eat where you can get time with your farmer.

Sometimes, as a farm wife you feel so alone. You're not mad, you're not upset, or disappointed. It may take a while to grow here, but as a seasoned farm wife, it is just the norm. But yet, you wished you had someone else that understood that.

As a first generation farmer, we don't have generational family that understands or knows what it is all about, and especially being a 1st generation Farmer's wife, I truly didn't have a support group that understood all of it.

I have the best of friends. We have amazing family, but yet, I felt I needed to find other farm wives that could 100% relate to our everyday life. Ever feel that way?

So, I was determined to find that. I knew it had to exist. I went straight to Instagram. I started following and searching for other farm wives. I began to comment and build relationships. Then, I stumbled upon a page that began a journey and relationships that I never anticipated.

Farm wife, I see you. I see you feeling alone, even when you are surrounded by so many friends and loved ones. I see you when you go to events without your farmer. I see you when you were so excited about going to that place, or dinner, movie, or date night, only to have it canceled once again by farm life.

I see you. I know how you feel and I know there is a community being built that gets 'it.'

And do you know what else this community gets? You.

This is how we change the narrative. Community. Support. Togetherness.

You have dreams to build yourself. You have big things to do for you. You have support. You have cheerleaders. You have a group that understands without a word being said. They get you. They get your lifestyle. They get it. I get it. You are not alone.

I joined a Mastermind group 1 year ago. The Mastermind is made up of rural women with big agendas, big dreams, and busy households. Just like me. Just like you.

That Mastermind lead me to a retreat where I met up with multiple rural women all across the US, and we dove deep into our daily lives. We dreamed, we cried, we laughed, we loved and we supported.

Farm wife, I see you. If you are feeling any of these feelings, I encourage you take a chance on yourself and reach out to to find that community. A stranger found on the internet, became a life coach, and a friend. She too saw the need to change the narrative for so many.

Meet my friend, Emily Reuschel. She is building a community for us. For you, for me, for farm wives, rural women, or just any woman that needs community and support. This is not a paid ad. This is simply my personal testimony to help other farm wives know and understand, there is a community out there. It is here, and it is for you. I am here, and I support you. We are here. You are not alone. We have to change the narrative.

I am so glad I took a chance on me last year. I am thankful I followed my gut to find a community I needed.

This your year, this community is for you.

Take a chance, for you.

I would love to connect more, support you, and encourage you too! You can find me on all things social @ FitNSassy_FarmersWife

You are not alone! I see you, sister. Let's change the narrative.



PHOTO CREDITS: Hannah Gaebel Dorn-Ag Photog


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